Father Mike Schmitz tackles one of the toughest questions religious believers must answer, link here. I heard recently something from a woman who lost her husband to cancer. She told me that "God takes the good ones first". My initial unspoken reaction was to ask her if she believes that, or if she thinks I might. Then I felt bad, and of course sad. Given she was talking about her own scenario, I remained muted on my thoughts and I expressed sincere my condolences for her loss. What she believes is her truth, and I'm sure she lost a very good man.
Father Mike (link above) made a great point... that we have to stop saying that "God has a plan" and "all things happen for a reason". People may question their faith when they can't pray cancer away. I don't mean to sound like I'm preaching here and while I agree that prayer is extremely powerful, God doesn't intervene or selectively wisp people to heaven, or allow them to physically suffer.
I heard of a man praying to God night after night so he would win the lottery, and this went on for many months. God finally answered, and suggested to the man that he should actually buy a lottery ticket. While it was obviously humor, the person who told me illustrated that while God is all-powerful, He doesn't intervene.
I heard of a man praying to God night after night so he would win the lottery, and this went on for many months. God finally answered, and suggested to the man that he should actually buy a lottery ticket. While it was obviously humor, the person who told me illustrated that while God is all-powerful, He doesn't intervene.
I'd written about attending two bereavement meetings where I was the only one who had lost a child; everyone else had lost their spouse. They all had applicable pain and challenges, just not applicable to me. I've since found a men's group for fathers who have lost a child, and oddly I felt like I was a lucky one. I'd say 95% of the group members lost their kids to something sudden and senseless, a catastrophic car accident, murder, suicide, overdose, etc. With the recent massacre at the country western club just over the hill in T.O., or to people who lost their homes or family members to the fires here in SoCal, can you imagine their reaction of someone got up in their faces and said "all things happen for a reason"? We have to stop saying that to people who have lost loved ones to disease. There is no need to 'help' rationalize our loss, just as ludicrous to say it to someone who unexpectedly lost a loved one. That said, I may have said that to me five years ago... lesson learner.
During the dinner mentioned in the prior post, I was chatting with two of my favorite chordoma peeps, Heather and Steve: they lost their son Justin to chordoma in 2008. We were idly chatting about how people seemed desperate to 'help' us. Heather, who has a PhD, mentioned her reaction to people who told her that all things happen for a reason. She told them "NO, God does not give nor allow a seven year old child cancer" and basically just ended the conversation then and there. I could see the intensity in her eyes, and to reiterate... we as a society need to stop saying that to the families of cancer patients who've lost a loved one. Imagine saying that to a parent of someone who lost their kid at the recent shooting at Borderline?!
Angela, Madison and I saw someone speak who I'd written about previously, David Kessler. His guidance of what to say, and what not to say are at this link.
God bless the firefighters and all first responders, and to people who lost loved ones or property in the fires, or the senseless shooting... you and your families are in my thoughts and prayers... I'm so sorry for your losses.
During the dinner mentioned in the prior post, I was chatting with two of my favorite chordoma peeps, Heather and Steve: they lost their son Justin to chordoma in 2008. We were idly chatting about how people seemed desperate to 'help' us. Heather, who has a PhD, mentioned her reaction to people who told her that all things happen for a reason. She told them "NO, God does not give nor allow a seven year old child cancer" and basically just ended the conversation then and there. I could see the intensity in her eyes, and to reiterate... we as a society need to stop saying that to the families of cancer patients who've lost a loved one. Imagine saying that to a parent of someone who lost their kid at the recent shooting at Borderline?!
Angela, Madison and I saw someone speak who I'd written about previously, David Kessler. His guidance of what to say, and what not to say are at this link.
God bless the firefighters and all first responders, and to people who lost loved ones or property in the fires, or the senseless shooting... you and your families are in my thoughts and prayers... I'm so sorry for your losses.
