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Catheters and Erectile Dysfunction?

2/24/2019

 
Last week Angela and I were watching the movie Bohemiam Rhapsody which was excellent; the story of how a young man became a true music legend against all odds. I knew Freddie Mercury died of AIDS, or complications of, but seeing his character played explaining it to his band members had Angela and me choking back tears. As Freddie explained it to his mates, there was a sense of 'okay now that that's out in the open, let's get on with it'. It reminded me of incredibly difficult conversations that Madison had and what I perceived as Madison's attitude being okay-then, now let's move past it. In November 2016 when fluid was building up in the pleura (sack surrounding her right lung) there wasn't spoken or unspoken alarm by her doctors. Colleen and Michael were about to take a dream vacation abroad and they were ushered away by Madison, 'there's no reason not to go mom'. Colleen and Michael were in Tahiti when the analysis of the fluids came back with brachyury. Do we call Colleen and ruin the rest of her vacation? Knowing her, she would have been on the next flight out and if flights had been full, she would have started swimming. Madison decided she wanted her mom to enjoy her vacation while suspecting that Colleen might be upset -not- knowing, Madison knew she was welcome to throw me under the bus and say dad wouldn't allow it. That's sooo not-Madison, but I figured I'd put the offer on the table. When Colleen got home, Madison explained what was going on with unbelievable courage with her eyes full of tears knowing how it would affect her mom. 

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As Madison had once written, she and the monster hiding under her bed were face-to-face. That's a tough conversation to have with anyone, much less your mom. "Hi Mom, I missed you and BTW, and (gulp, pause) we got the results back from the lab. Madison was so incredibly brave during that moment, and countless others.  

​The scene in 
Bohemiam Rhapsody reminded me of Madison telling her mom in 2016. Make no mistake there were tears because brachyury officially made it a metastasis of chordoma, but now that she's past that part of the awareness, Madi went to Colorado to snowmobile and went ice fishing with her dear friends. There's a picture of Madison holding a fish, with photos of other children and young adults pictured who have chordoma. What amazing lessons these kids taught their parents. Okay, now that that's out of the way... onward, which beats crawling in to a corner and sucking your thumb in fear or uncertainty. That was a tough conversation in 2016, and another seemingly impossible conversation in late 2017... that there were no chances to cure her disease... it's going to run it's course. Madison had that conversation with everybody who loves her, which is what prompted my thoughts seeing Freddie tell the other members of Queen. If I silently weep watching a movie like Bohemiam Rhapsody, Lord help me and the people around me when I finally see A Star is Born. 

In the spirit of living, loving, and laughing, Angela and I went to Palm Springs last week and drove through old neighborhoods which felt like we were transported back to 1962. Appropriately, we had an Elvis CD playing in the car and toured inside a really cool retro home. The next day we went to a huge factory outlet mall and walked over five miles there in bargain-hunting mode. It seemed impossible: stores had 50% + 25% off sales, so 75% off.  Spending a combined total of about $40, off to Morengo Casino for some lightweight gambling and as luck would have it, they have an all you can eat steak and lobster-fest on Thursday nights! Stuffed to our gills, we went back to the room before an evening of penny slots and a blackjack table or two. I turned on a news channel and plopped on the bed for a few minutes to catch up on the latest 'breaking news' and there they were. TV commercials obviously target their audiences, but watching the news then, there were commercials for erectile dysfunction and
catheters. Nothing against either commercial or product, I imagine we'll all get there one way or another... coming or going. Okay then, TV off, we're not that old yet and off to the casino with a lesson learned: watching 'breaking news' targets people a lot older than I plan on being for a long time, so if a commercial pops up similar to those, it's time to go outside or at the very least get up and do something. 

Last week our house-sitter was booked so mama bear Colleen took the dogs in our absence and tended to our cats too. She sent me the funniest picture. If you put lipstick on a pig... it's still a pig. 
 
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Colleen sometimes walks Bailey in a playground where kids write with sidewalk chalk. Bailey being the curious soul that she is and probably hoping someone left a pile of bacon unattended, she sniffed her way close enough to get chalk in her lips looking like the little miss piggy that she is. 

Like everyone who loves and misses Madison, moms and I think of her every day too. Angela and I recently joined and actually go to a gym, which I think would make Madison proud. When it does become time for catheters and boner pills, I'd wager an approval in some form from Madi as well, and ideally from Angela as well... til death do us part ;-)  

​ 

A Thousand Words

2/8/2019

 
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