Love, Loss, and Other Four Letter Words
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Madison's Rooms

9/17/2021

 
Last week Angela was speaking on the phone to our friend Carolyn: I overheard her describing some of the recent ceramic pieces she put together, then heard Angela casually respond with "Madison's room" and I suspected I knew what the question was that she was asked. After the call ended I'd asked Angela about it. We tried branding Madison's car "the Camry" and "the Toyota", but it was hard to gag those words out because it was Madison's car... always would be. It turns out her room will always be "Madison's room": We tried the "crafts room" or "workshop", but it just didn't feel right. When I overheard Angela casually mentioned "Madison's room" that's flowed naturally, it's the most simple, and besides... her ashes are hanging in an XMO bag. Every morning we open the drapes and every night we close them. 

The "Cat Bathroom"
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This morning was a typical morning. Our laundry room has a sliding/pocket door and within it we have the "Cat bathroom"... the litterbox is under the sink. That bathroom we did a few years ago. I tore out the old vanity, did the drywall, and built a very sturdy platform with a hole in it for the sink, then Angela did the sink-top and wall with ceramic tiles. I'm usually up first so I let Ringo and Sasha out, cleaned the cat-box and let Sasha go outside. Ringo's 18 and his kidneys are failing, so he's always hungry. Sasha darted to outside as usual. A little while later Angela and I were having coffee out back, and Sasha was meowing very loudly. She is the by far the most gentle feline creature we've ever had. She was never a hunter, a brat, and always purring and very talkative. Angela sensed that Sasha's meow-howl was different, walked over and picked her up. She was acting like she was trying to cough-up a hairball but we senced having trouble breathing. We've seen it before... she usually barfs a glob of grass, out but one never came. Then she lied on her side. Ruh Roe. I grabbed the cat-carrier and Sasha went into it on her own. Within a minute, she and I were driving to the vet while Angela called them to let them know I was coming... code-3. Sasha always responds to our meowing at her with a double meow meow back at us. During the five minute drive to the vets, I meowed and spoke to her the whole way. I even told her that Madison's looking forward to seeing her... but not yet... hang in there Sasha. When we got to the Vet's, I rushed up and unzipped the top of her cat carrier... Sasha was laying on her side was motionless. I put my palm over her belly and sensed she wasn't breathing in fact, my gut told me we lost her. The vet tech said very softly that it looks like she's passed, then rushed her back to have a vet doublecheck. With a very sad face, she came back with an empty cat carrier and again expressed her sorrow. Rest in peace sweet sweet girl.   
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Another very unfortunate and extremely sad reminder that tomorrow is not a promise. Live, love, laugh.

​To try and end on a less dismal note... 
​
... I've mentioned Madison's car, her bedroom and rather than trying to rebrand her bathroom as the "guest bathroom", let's call it what it is... Madi's bath. It's coming along... far right picture was taken yesterday. Angela and I just need to lay down the tile, put border along the walls and around the doors, and install the suspended sink and storage cabinet that are in the "living room" :-) 
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​"The before": Her bathroom was actually decent if you're in to 1964 motif with a slight hint of rust. 
So to Madison, we miss you Shug. Angela and I speak of you most everyday... we always will. I think some friends and family (my mom still seems to clam-up when I say your name... not her fault, we know people grieve differently). I think some people are worried about using your name in front of your mom's or me because it might hurt us, but your name and remember-when stories are music to our ears. 

Angela and I are so saddened and sorry about Sasha and again... tomorrow is not a promise... but you already know that. 

​We love you.

​S
ince it's still and will always be "Madison's bath" even when refreshed, I promise to always sit like a chick when I pee in there and will always leave the toilet seat down. Once again...

... you're welcome. 


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