A looming to-do was to go through Madi's computer. She'd mentioned writing letters and all that implies, offered the screen-lock password, yet I waited until this weekend to muster up the strength to fire up her PC suspecting some very profound MS Word docs from her heart. Yup, bug time. Mentioned in a prior post was a memorial celebration penciled in for February 18. That date didn't pan out so we're postponing it until March and we'll confirm and let people know.
Angela and I reflected a lot during our Puerto Vallarta retreat knowing there were unopened letters on Madi's PC, and to her mum as well. When we got home I found/printed the letters to mums and I and they were hard to read... hence waiting a month plus, I knew that'd be the case. Some pictures too and thank God, no twerking videos :-) Another gem I think Madison drafted but didn't post/send in blue ink, copy/pasted below. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand. – Isaiah 41:10. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
She wrote "My hands are pried open to the dream I had for myself. What a beautiful promise that is. On December 9th (2016), I was re-diagnosed with cancer after they found metastatic disease that spread to the lining of my right lung. I know this may come to a shock. I’ve been hesitant to share for a multitude of reasons, but mostly because I wanted to keep some semblance of “hey, look! I’m normal too!” But I’m not, and if I’m honest, my life isn’t all avocados and sunshine either. I’ve been returned to a place I know well. I’m familiar with hospitals, side effects, and scars. This cancer was the monster looming under my bed and now we are face to face."
Madison added: "For anyone who has a loved one dealing with a hardship, you don’t need to know what to say, just show up. My hands are pried open to the plans I had for myself. I don’t always feel brave or positive. I didn’t want this to be my life at twenty-one, but this is where I am. Somehow there is beauty in being able to see the tension between life and death. The beauty of the light owes much of its existence to the darkness."
Angela and I reflected a lot during our Puerto Vallarta retreat knowing there were unopened letters on Madi's PC, and to her mum as well. When we got home I found/printed the letters to mums and I and they were hard to read... hence waiting a month plus, I knew that'd be the case. Some pictures too and thank God, no twerking videos :-) Another gem I think Madison drafted but didn't post/send in blue ink, copy/pasted below. "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand. – Isaiah 41:10. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
She wrote "My hands are pried open to the dream I had for myself. What a beautiful promise that is. On December 9th (2016), I was re-diagnosed with cancer after they found metastatic disease that spread to the lining of my right lung. I know this may come to a shock. I’ve been hesitant to share for a multitude of reasons, but mostly because I wanted to keep some semblance of “hey, look! I’m normal too!” But I’m not, and if I’m honest, my life isn’t all avocados and sunshine either. I’ve been returned to a place I know well. I’m familiar with hospitals, side effects, and scars. This cancer was the monster looming under my bed and now we are face to face."
Madison added: "For anyone who has a loved one dealing with a hardship, you don’t need to know what to say, just show up. My hands are pried open to the plans I had for myself. I don’t always feel brave or positive. I didn’t want this to be my life at twenty-one, but this is where I am. Somehow there is beauty in being able to see the tension between life and death. The beauty of the light owes much of its existence to the darkness."
Madison at UCSF, clinical trial appointment
