Love, Loss, and Other Four Letter Words
  • Home
  • About Chordoma
  • Photo Gallery
  • Blog - Madison's Journal

"The Beauty of the Light..."

2/11/2018

 
A looming to-do was to go through Madi's computer. She'd mentioned writing letters and all that implies, offered the screen-lock password, yet I waited until this weekend to muster up the strength to fire up her PC suspecting some very profound MS Word docs from her heart. Yup, bug time. Mentioned in a prior post was a memorial celebration penciled in for February 18. That date didn't pan out so we're postponing it until March and we'll confirm and let people know.  

Angela and I reflected a lot during our Puerto Vallarta retreat knowing there were unopened letters on Madi's PC, and to her mum as well.  When we got home I found/printed the letters to mums and I and they were hard to read... hence waiting a month plus, I knew that'd be the case. Some pictures too and thank God, no twerking videos  :-)   Another gem I think Madison drafted but didn't post/send in blue ink, copy/pasted below.  "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand. – Isaiah 41:10. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

She wrote "My hands are pried open to the dream I had for myself. What a beautiful promise that is. On December 9th (2016), I was re-diagnosed with cancer after they found metastatic disease that spread to the lining of my right lung. I know this may come to a shock. I’ve been hesitant to share for a multitude of reasons, but mostly because I wanted to keep some semblance of “hey, look! I’m normal too!” But I’m not, and if I’m honest, my life isn’t all avocados and sunshine either. I’ve been returned to a place I know well. I’m familiar with hospitals, side effects, and scars. This cancer was the monster looming under my bed and now we are face to face."

Madison added: "For anyone who has a loved one dealing with a hardship, you don’t need to know what to say, just show up. My hands are pried open to the plans I had for myself.  I don’t always feel brave or positive. I didn’t want this to be my life at twenty-one, but this is where I am. Somehow there is beauty in being able to see the tension between life and death. The beauty of the light owes much of its existence to the darkness." 

Picture
Madison at UCSF, clinical trial appointment

Comments are closed.

    Archives

    December 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    May 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    May 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013

    Picture

    Categories

    All

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.