Up until the diagnosis of a rare and aggressive cancer we led a fairly normal life. As parents we're taught to groom our children to become decent, kind, and hardworking human beings, and then send them off to college where they actually spread their wings having left the nest. For most 'normal' families that might mean worrying about toga parties, beer bongs, finding 'love' way to young, then dropping out of college to find oneself. We were both cursed and blessed... moms and I had four extra years with Madison. Granted she had something major occur each year since her diagnosis, but we had the privilege of being deeply connected to her through thick and thin, and her... to us. Many young adults might not even look in the rearview mirror at age 22, but we watched a terrified 18 year old transition during her first treatments, then blossom as a cancer peer in her group, and ultimately pack a lifetime of wisdom and spirituality in to just a few short years following. While Madi lives on and lives strong in our hearts and souls, what's actually next for us in her vacuum?
Puerto Vallarta. Angela and I have an opportunity to go ridiculously inexpensively, so we're planning a reconnection / what's-next retreat. Angela has been the-other-woman through all of this and while she certainly understood and has embraced what's most important as Colleen's husband has, we're each now positioned to reevaluate our day-to-day rituals redefining our roles on planet earth... life beyond being cancer parents/caregivers.
Per Madi's request, we had her mortal body cremated and they're in a beautiful wooden box. We talked to her about spreading her ashes at one of her favorite places in Ireland, Maui, or England.., "c'mon Madi... just tell us where and that'll give us a reason to go", but not even a nibble from Madi. So it's up to us: we've written about another 'service' and there will be something, but that seems and sounds so final but we all mourn her departure I do believe that we all need a forum to express our love and gratitude for hers, but the what and when are not quite yet in focus. Moms and I asked Madi if she wanted her cremated remains buried and again, she asked "what for". It was a very confident and spiritual reminder by Madi that her mortal remains may actually be somewhat insignificant in the grand scheme of things in His eyes.
Puerto Vallarta. Angela and I have an opportunity to go ridiculously inexpensively, so we're planning a reconnection / what's-next retreat. Angela has been the-other-woman through all of this and while she certainly understood and has embraced what's most important as Colleen's husband has, we're each now positioned to reevaluate our day-to-day rituals redefining our roles on planet earth... life beyond being cancer parents/caregivers.
Per Madi's request, we had her mortal body cremated and they're in a beautiful wooden box. We talked to her about spreading her ashes at one of her favorite places in Ireland, Maui, or England.., "c'mon Madi... just tell us where and that'll give us a reason to go", but not even a nibble from Madi. So it's up to us: we've written about another 'service' and there will be something, but that seems and sounds so final but we all mourn her departure I do believe that we all need a forum to express our love and gratitude for hers, but the what and when are not quite yet in focus. Moms and I asked Madi if she wanted her cremated remains buried and again, she asked "what for". It was a very confident and spiritual reminder by Madi that her mortal remains may actually be somewhat insignificant in the grand scheme of things in His eyes.
