I heard from two voices from the past yesterday, one of which was the therapist/host of my men’s (cancer) caregiver group from 2013-2017. We had lunch at a very busy deli and he mentioned wanting to get a table where it’s quieter, which we did. Phew. Once seated I mentioned that my tolerance of noisy environments isn’t what it used to be, part of my new-normal. He laughed and said “naw, you’re just getting older and more set in your ways”. Huh! Is that what happens when one turns 60? Nope, I think not... 60 is the new 40! It was great seeing Phil, who is a board member at the Cancer Support Community. Reflecting back to 2013 for my first Men’s Caregiver group meeting, the other men all welcomed me, told me their story, and then it was my turn. Gulp… pause. Okay, let’s try that again. Gulp, then tears more tears, but I finally choked out why I’m there out with tears streaming down my face. I learned that was my safe place, which I can say things to these gents that I couldn’t share with anyone. Example, I’m terrified that my daughter will die. I couldn’t say that to other people without them thinking I know more than I’m saying or don’t have faith in the treatment plan, or without receiving a pep talk how people beat cancer all the time… that their aunt had breast cancer and she beat it, Madison will too! Madison finally went to her group and found her peer/peeps, people she could truly open up with who ‘get’ one another. As Madison wrote here “The Cancer Support Community gave me a safe place to share my experience with a group who would understand. They provided me with tools to manage the stress and the uncertainty and I also believe they led me to acceptance. I am part of a great group of people. We laugh, we cry, and we are there for one another, which is so valuable since cancer can be a lonely experience.” I mention this because...
I learned yesterday that the CSC needs volunteers for their Holiday Homes fundraiser in early December. This is their final hurrah for 2018 and if you’re local and in a position to help, please sign up at this link: you will feel good about giving your time, I guarantee it, but don’t do it like I did for the PTA when Madison was in elementary school... I will find you!
Jan RN sent me a text last night: She was thinking about Madison and took a picture of the bracelet still on her wrist that Madison gave her for Christmas last year. Jan RN was Madison’s nurse, was at the Color Run cheering Madison on with her doctor, and Jan committed to doing it this year with me and other Madi-fan’s. While the Color Run was a year ago yesterday, it actually didn’t pan out this year. The website still has “November 2018, date TBD”, they didn’t respond to my emails, so I’m shifting in to plan-B for 2019 to see what I can get away with... it'll take 8-12 months to get those ducks in a row.
Last Thanksgiving Madison and her mom were dishing out food to some homeless people. It’s difficult not to reminisce thinking back about milestones, but so many of the memories make me so proud of Madison and that being just one of them. So if you live locally and you can spare one half of one day to help the CSC this season, please call them! They have several dates and time-blocks available and they need our help and again, don’t be me 15 years ago. Madison’s mom and I separated when she was five and we actually got along better than ever. Angela admitted to studying our relationship because she wanted to understand what she was getting in to. The PTA was looking for volunteers during school days, but moms and I worked full time. I did get some hardcopy volunteer forms, and signed up for being a classroom helper, study buddy, driver for field trips, snack mom, basically checking off ever box for every gap they had. That said, I put Colleen’s name and phone number down. Over the years Colleen mentioned to me that the PTA seems relentless finding volunteers. “Every year I explain that I can’t help during the day but they just keep calling!” I finally clued her in years later, that I checked all of the boxes but may have inadvertently put her name down. Colleen laughed harder than I did : - )
While most people work and can’t step away during the week, please consider filling a gap for the CSC’s final fundraiser of 2018. Even getting a brief four hour glimpse in to what they do for so many of us impacted by cancer, you’ll be amazed, inspired, and will feel good!
I learned yesterday that the CSC needs volunteers for their Holiday Homes fundraiser in early December. This is their final hurrah for 2018 and if you’re local and in a position to help, please sign up at this link: you will feel good about giving your time, I guarantee it, but don’t do it like I did for the PTA when Madison was in elementary school... I will find you!
Jan RN sent me a text last night: She was thinking about Madison and took a picture of the bracelet still on her wrist that Madison gave her for Christmas last year. Jan RN was Madison’s nurse, was at the Color Run cheering Madison on with her doctor, and Jan committed to doing it this year with me and other Madi-fan’s. While the Color Run was a year ago yesterday, it actually didn’t pan out this year. The website still has “November 2018, date TBD”, they didn’t respond to my emails, so I’m shifting in to plan-B for 2019 to see what I can get away with... it'll take 8-12 months to get those ducks in a row.
Last Thanksgiving Madison and her mom were dishing out food to some homeless people. It’s difficult not to reminisce thinking back about milestones, but so many of the memories make me so proud of Madison and that being just one of them. So if you live locally and you can spare one half of one day to help the CSC this season, please call them! They have several dates and time-blocks available and they need our help and again, don’t be me 15 years ago. Madison’s mom and I separated when she was five and we actually got along better than ever. Angela admitted to studying our relationship because she wanted to understand what she was getting in to. The PTA was looking for volunteers during school days, but moms and I worked full time. I did get some hardcopy volunteer forms, and signed up for being a classroom helper, study buddy, driver for field trips, snack mom, basically checking off ever box for every gap they had. That said, I put Colleen’s name and phone number down. Over the years Colleen mentioned to me that the PTA seems relentless finding volunteers. “Every year I explain that I can’t help during the day but they just keep calling!” I finally clued her in years later, that I checked all of the boxes but may have inadvertently put her name down. Colleen laughed harder than I did : - )
While most people work and can’t step away during the week, please consider filling a gap for the CSC’s final fundraiser of 2018. Even getting a brief four hour glimpse in to what they do for so many of us impacted by cancer, you’ll be amazed, inspired, and will feel good!
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If you know someone who has been diagnosed with cancer, encourage them to find the CSC or one of their many dozens of affiliates. The first step in the door is a hard one, and the first meeting will likely be rough. In the long run, it's emotional support and nourishment from people who know how/what to feed people like us.
I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving, embrace and enjoy your friends and families, and have a nice long weekend.
Love,
Chris
I hope you have a nice Thanksgiving, embrace and enjoy your friends and families, and have a nice long weekend.
Love,
Chris
