Pool equipment is loud and ugly. This week I decided to build a replacement fence. Since the rear seats of "the Camry" fold forward, it only required two trips for all that lumber. Madi certainly wouldn't want me to have 15 eight foot boards sticking out of my sunroof for each trip.
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Last week Madison's therapist called me to just check in, chat, and see how Angela and I are doing. We owe her so much for her wisdom, guidance, and teachings. We reminisced about different things and while she can't ever tell me details of discussions with Madison, she has taught me a lot too. I've quoted Madison's therapist numerous times about holding on to both faith and hope and ever-evolving variations of each. Reality will always be part of every scenario in our lives, but living with only a reality absent faith and hope can be a dark and lonely place. It's okay to visit, but don't stay there. Faith and hope! Ahh, but we can't ignore reality. I had faith in my extensive motorcycle riding experience and always hoped that some nitwit would wouldn't turn left in front of me because they think it's not dangerous to text and drive. Angela and I sold our motorcycles many years ago because I'd lost faith in other drivers here. Motorcycle riders always hope they'll always be seen, in our area have three realities. 1- you will crash. 2- you have crashed. 3- you will crash again and may need ongoing house -calls from hospice nurse extraordinaire Jan RN. And on that and...
...Amazingly out of the blue Jan sent me this text today, six months ago that Madison left us. Needless to say Madi left her mark on Jan too.
...Amazingly out of the blue Jan sent me this text today, six months ago that Madison left us. Needless to say Madi left her mark on Jan too.
My high school woodshop teacher taught two lessons that I'll never forget. "Measure twice and cut once" and "why is there never time to do it right but always time to do it over"? He was missing a finger. Ahh yes, her wheelchair: That thing is so heavy duty and infinately easier to use than a wheelbarrow. I tried selling it on Craigslist but none of the cheapskates there would take it for their $20 donation to Madison's favorite charity. Pondering... Madison maybe would want me to have it for it's ease of use and for the increased safety ;-). The offer stands: anyone who needs a wheelchair... all ya gotta do is donate 20 bucks to her favorite charity.
Of course safety first! Power cords in the water... what can go wrong?
Since Madison's diagnosis in 2013 I had been invited to speak to couple of college psychology classes. The professor invited me to challenge the students who plan on becoming therapists. The presentation about my journey with Madi's cancer was about an hour long and I stopped several times and asked individuals at that part of the presentation, "what do you say to me"? I was surprised... lots of blank faces. "C'mon folks, how long have you been in psych... you sir in the blue shirt: my name is Chris, what's yours, and as your patient what do you say to me"? (I guess they had not yet got to the faith, hope, and reality lessons). One of my favorite lessons learned... acceptance is not agreement, this is not okay... it just is. They had not had that lesson yet either. The final iterations of hope were at home, pain and agitation free, and important to Madison that she was interactive during her final days and that her mortal passing didn't last for weeks. She passed on a Thursday, and we hung out Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday watching TV, chatting, and napping while having slumber parties with us.
I'm thinking about writing a book. It's all pretty much already written on this site. Madison had such wisdom and her soul was a beautiful song. She had such immense faith, wisdom, and optimistic while realistic insights. In this post I quoted her: "My hands are pried open to the dream I had for myself". That would be a good title for a book. Another gem of hers is "The beauty of the light owes much of its existence to the darkness". The Beauty In The Light" would be good too. Pondering a title "What Do You Say To Me" would make it all about me... Madi would want that :-)
I'm thinking about writing a book. It's all pretty much already written on this site. Madison had such wisdom and her soul was a beautiful song. She had such immense faith, wisdom, and optimistic while realistic insights. In this post I quoted her: "My hands are pried open to the dream I had for myself". That would be a good title for a book. Another gem of hers is "The beauty of the light owes much of its existence to the darkness". The Beauty In The Light" would be good too. Pondering a title "What Do You Say To Me" would make it all about me... Madi would want that :-)
